Self-Imposed Deadlines

April 24, 2011

 

Every 24 Things Challenge brings a new revelation for me.  I learn about myself, my habits, and  patterns in my mind.  

 

I rushed my son out the door and off to school, not listening to what he was asking, but running through the list of things I needed to accomplish that day in my head.  He tried to talk to me in the car but I was distracted.  

 

"I know you aren't listening." He said.  "Whenever you answer me that way, I know you are just saying yes but not meaning it."

 

He showed me, that I was putting The Spring Challenge above the more important things in my life.  I was drowning in my self imposed deadlines and running myself ragged to accomplish them, and everything else in my life: planning an Easter party at my home, two trips out of town, teaching yoga classes daily, and the everyday cooking, driving, running a household and all of this during tax time. 

 

I turned off the radio and my chattering mind and focused on a conversation with my son for the remainder of the commute.

That afternoon, I led my yoga class and sat quietly during shavasana.  I saw an image in my mind's eye.  There were two of me, one standing in front of the other. One looked weary  and the other was larger and looming behind.  The 'me' in the back was pushing the other one from behind. It was rough and aggressive, shoving me onward.  

 

I felt a rush of sadness and realized how my son must feel in the morning when I am distracted with a million things and hollering "lets go! I don't want to be late."  I must seem like that terrible looming figure. 

 

We tend to find things to keep us busy. too busy.  When things are going smoothly we find things to worry about. If we have a little down time we fill up the calendar.  We teach our children to keep in constant motion with the sports teams and after school activities creating stress and anxiety where there shouldn't be.

 

So my lesson during this 24 Things Challenge,  was to let go of some of my self- imposed deadlines.  I still tossed.  I have piles waiting for pickup and my home feel lighter again.  

 

Thank you for joining me on the Spring Fling.  I hope you uncovered many things and fill the new found space with an inspired future.

Namaste

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